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General: Better Jokes for Movie Mama!

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  1.  
    Q: What do you get when you mix maize with porridge?
    A: Corny chok!
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      CommentAuthorMM
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2007
     
    ... "len siao hua"!!?

    up the ante people!

    (but ten points for effort johnnyM! haha)
    • CommentAuthorMovie Buff
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2007 edited
     
    Erm.... it should be "xiao", not "siao". And the correct Hanyu Pinyin for cold is "leng".

    Heh!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorMM
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2007
     
    :P
  5.  
    What can I redeem with 10pts ah?
    • CommentAuthorsteve
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2007
     
    an evening of movies with brown
  7.  
    Sweet! If mb wears a skirt, it might actually look like we're on a date!

    Anyway, here's another one I picked up from my feeds. It's actually pretty good.

    "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." - Groucho Marx
  8.  
    Just wanna add a funny line I found somewhere...

    At the entrance of the large machinery plant: "Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist."
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      CommentAuthormb
    • CommentTimeMay 3rd 2007
     
    Bad Spellers of the World Untie!
  10.  
    DAA is acronym for American Dyslexic Association!
    • CommentAuthorMovie Buff
    • CommentTimeMay 21st 2007
     
    OK...the forum has been quiet of late...

    I'll try to jolt it awake a little... "He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons"

    A little graphic, so please don't read this and eat at the same time. :)
    • CommentAuthorMovie Buff
    • CommentTimeMay 21st 2007
     
    You'll probably heard of this one...

    So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

    One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.

    At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

    The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.

    Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
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      CommentAuthormb
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2007
     
    Save gas, fart in a jar.
    • CommentAuthorsteve
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2007
     
    why fart it and waste it, when you can burp it and taste it?
  15.  
    Save water, shower with a friend.
    • CommentAuthorsteve
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2007
     
    save jokes...
    • CommentAuthormushroomx
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2007
     
    A gas station in Kentucky was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up".
    Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

    The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
    The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
    A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
    The proprietor again gave him the same story,and asked him to guess the correct number.
    The redneck guessed 2 this time.
    Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3.
    You were close, but no free sex this time."
    As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

    Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged ----- my wife won twice last week.
    • CommentAuthorpolalion
    • CommentTimeMay 31st 2007
     
    Man who buys secondhand car knows how hard it is to drive a bargain.
    • CommentAuthorapplepie
    • CommentTimeMay 31st 2007
     
    What does a rich tai-tai like to eat?
    -Roti Prada

    What makes a rich tai-tai laugh?
    -Gucci Gucci
    • CommentAuthorpolalion
    • CommentTimeMay 31st 2007
     
    Did you guys hear the one about the idiot who kept saying "no"?
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      CommentAuthorMM
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2007
     
    polalion: uh. yes!

    applepie: dunno why but your gucci gucci made me crack up. bwahaha

    my humble contribution (from one of my favourite tees): save a tree, eat a beaver.

    0:D
  22.  
    Mmm.. I've been told that it's a sure way to a woman's heart.
    • CommentAuthorpolalion
    • CommentTimeJun 18th 2007
     
    Yeah. Trees are being saved all around the world and women are feeling good about it.
  24.  
    precisely! that's what I meant..
    • CommentAuthorpolalion
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2007
     
    I bet beavers are nice. Do you think they taste like chicken?

    Maybe they taste like clams.
  26.  
    Oh come now, simply because they're wet all the time from all the dam building doesn't have to mean that they taste like seafood.
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      CommentAuthorMM
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2007
     
    polalion: if you ever have a taste, and it's remotely fishy. spit whatever you have in your mouth out and run!
    • CommentAuthorMovie Buff
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2007
     
    I hope all the banter about the beavers are REALLY about the animals. Not that I've eaten any of them before...

    But erm... my "not-so-innocent" childhood tells me a different story about "beavers".... *ahem*
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      CommentAuthorMM
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2007
     
    hurhur ok ok change topic!






    brown jokes! cmon i know u have some. :D
    • CommentAuthorMovie Buff
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2007
     
    Don't have any at the moment but you can try and find the clip starring Hugh Jackman on SNL about the Christmas Kangeroo. Heh!
    • CommentAuthorpolalion
    • CommentTimeJun 20th 2007
     
    I'll keep that hold that advice dear, MM.

    Meanwhile... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m46l9P2xrbw

    Some shameless advertising.
    • CommentAuthormushroomx
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2007
     
    oh my.. your poor friend..
    • CommentAuthorpolalion
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2007
     
    I just found out MM is using Tuzki as her avatar.

    I have all the emoticons on MSN. Seldom use it though. =\
    •  
      CommentAuthorMM
    • CommentTimeJun 26th 2007
     
    yeah that bunny cracks me up all the time. :P
    • CommentAuthorapplepie
    • CommentTimeAug 11th 2007
     
    What was Bob The Builder's name after he retired from his career?


















































    Ans: Bob.

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